Time to Share a TimeShare Tale

Saturday, Carrie and I embarked upon a dubious right of passage: a time-share pitch. 

We knew what it was going in. My parents suffered through one of those in Florida when I was a kid. Pop said the salesman worked himself to tears. 

However, it was worth a $50 gift card and a free place to stay in Williamsburg, so we went with it. We didn't have any other plans. Carrie likes vacations; I like a good story. Shane didn't have much choice.

We drove down in the morning, filled up on gas and food at a Wawa, and stopped at Grandma and Grandpa's for a bath (Shane discovered he could write on himself and his car seat instead of the notebook on the way down!). We got to our appointment early and met our guide, J. 

J was very friendly and a good talker - a must for a professional salesman. He asked if we had a car seat for his car and we ended up driving ours instead. Carrie drove and J provided directions and entertainment. 

Shane provided righteous indignation. We turned off Hank the Cow-dog and he was not allowed to play any game at any volume he wanted on the Kindle. 

Most of it was the silent treatment (Hallelujah!). I got cross when he started to make faces and hit the door.

He missed out on some fun views.

He came around eventually. Carrie and I did not plan on an extra forty minutes in the car, but we were prepared. I had books, snacks, paper, pens, and full batteries on our devices. Shane and I split half a chocolate chip muffin from Wawa while Carrie happily talked travel industry business with J up front.

We were still glad when we got out of the car, though. Shane made friends in a play area, ate a (free) hot dog, and made faces in a mirror. Carly Simon wrote a chorus that comes to mind.

We enjoyed the tour. It was time to get down to business, though.

The whole set up was very professional and cleverly set up. I found it interesting.

The salesman started off acknowledging no one "woke up and wanted to buy a time share." He also said many variations of "No pressure!" We were his last presentation for the day and he'd probably have to call time before we did. If we did not travel or if we only wanted to see the same place every year this product probably wasn't for us, etc. etc.

The time share business has changed, as well. You no longer buy a physical unit and are no longer tied to a single location. You do get a deed for time in a unit, but it's part of a global network. You can exchange time in and around the network. The salesman told us he'd never stayed in Williamsburg, because he lived there. Aruba, Mexico, Bahamas....he took his daughter all over. The experience has 'evolved.'

J proceeded to show us around town, the properties, their competitors, and try to make it a "logical sale." The concept was to take vacations and compare them to real-estate. Specifically, renting versus buying. If you buy in, they even give you a deed. It conveys, too. The tagline could have been "Pay a little more up front to save long-term and enjoy the benefits for years and years to come. Think of your children."

And they had lots of great numbers to make the deal make great sense. Actually, I think the deal does make sense for the right kind of person (assuming they deliver and there aren't any hidden fees conveniently not mentioned). Do you prefer to stay at resorts and spend a lot on your vacations year after year? Do you prefer to not spend more than a week in any one place before trying somewhere new? Would you be okay with limiting your choices to (albeit a large world-wide) network of resorts in exchange for savings? Do you play golf?

If you answered yes to all four, a time-share could be for you. Crunch numbers and do your homework before you go to a presentation, though. The pressure will be on to make a decision at the end.

For me: No.

The presentation was very slick. They do a great job of creating an atmosphere that says "You will save so much," "This is the smartest discovery," and "You will sincerely regret if you pass up this opportunity."

If you do decline the initial offer, a manager comes over to make a better deal. If you continue to decline, the salesmen speaks to the manager on your behalf, and if you still decline you still have to drive back to the office with the salesmen (feel guilty?).

Upon your return, there is a final woman who surveys you before you collect your gifts. She should be called, "The Closer." I thought we were done, but she slashed prices a final time for me to rebuff.

As I said, a very slick operation.

Everyone was very personable. J told us about his family. The Closer asked my wife about the history of her custom ring. I felt like they believed in their product, too (as a good salesman should). Carrie and I listened politely, asked questions, and declined as nicely was we could. I tried to look more tempted than I really was not to hurt feelings. Perhaps it would've been kinder to blow them off and save some time.

We walked out with our gift vouchers and Visa debit card and immediately went out for ice cream.

By the numbers:

Gift card: $125 ($50 they give you + a $75 refund from "saving our space")
We spent the $50 on a full tank of gas (~$30), breakfast at Wawa (~$10), and Ben and Jerry's (~$10).
Verdict: Win.

Advertised length of presentation: 90 minutes.
Clarified length of presentation by J: "They say at least 90 minutes, but normally it doesn't take more than 2 hours."*
Assurance by J: He wanted to get out for the day and go on a week vacation, so "I'll probably call it around 2 [hours]"*
Actual length of time before walking out: ~195 minutes.
Verdict: Netural. We enjoyed the tour and talking, but the last hour could've gone a lot quicker.

Prices**

Salesman
Base price: ~$28k if you were to call up on the phone and ask to buy.
Special tour offer: $24k

Manager
Deferred offer: $18k - If you wait until Jan 1 but let them use your unit for tours until then. You also get a bonus week in the system.
Deferred Deffered offer: $11.7k - Older model and you defer use for over a year...but you still bank up weeks you can exchange. If you're nice, you could still get Gold Membership benefits. Half cleaning fees.

Last chance collaboration
Best you can get: $9,990 for not constructed yet units and we're not supposed to tell you, but you can try to get Gold Membership benefits still. Half cleaning fees.

The Closer
Final final chance: What if I told you there's future construction off Richmond road for ~$5,400? Half cleaning fees of course.

Cleaning fees:
Once a year: $750
Once a year at half price: $376

Gold Membership Benefits
Golden.
Includes 10% off cheapest airfare you can find.

Exchange fee
$189 paid to Interval switch out your week in one place anywhere else.

Bank
If you miss a vacation week, you can save up to three weeks in the bank.

How to get out if you don't like it later
Don't have a clue.

Anyway, it should be obvious we didn't sign up. They really know how to sell/tempt you with their product, so do your homework and know what you want before you go in. Depending on your situation, it may make sense for you. If our experience was typical, I would advise you not to take the first offer.

I count the experience as a win, because we walked away with more than we took in and a story to tell.

*quotes are the gist of the message I heard and almost assuredly not word for word.
**Rounding from what I remember. I scribbled some notes and texted some data afterwards so as not to forget, but I am human.