Sunday, March 11, 2018

Sunday in the Park

Rah asked Shane to ask me to go to the park Sunday. Shane was happy to parrot the question. They rode bikes while I walked/jogged with my book.

At first, we were the only people in the park. The boys ran to the swings. Rah asked me to take a video, so he could see how he could jump out of the swing from.

Kids draw other kids. After a little bit, two young boys, Jeremiah and Cameron, came running through the fence with a basketball.


Their older sister showed up shortly thereafter and a basketball game commenced.


Shane played for a little bit. He talked real big, but when one of the little guys whipped the ball behind his back and kept dribbling it was clear Shane was outclassed. Shane didn't do badly, but he switched off to trying to ride his bike around the court and then yell, "I'm the referee! Everybody! I'm the referee!"

I like to let the kids sort things out, but at that point I spoke up. I told Shane not to ride through their game and that they didn't need a referee. He could play or get off the court.

Shane chose to go lay on the seesaw. At one point he started to yell, "Can you guys be more quiet?"

The basketball game ignored him. He called out a few more times and eventually I called back, "You stop yelling. They're playing a game. It's a park. Play on your own or join the game."

Basketball continued the whole time we were at the park. An older boy emerged, Omar. He was a cut above and not shy to show it. "4 on 1! All of you versus me!"

The younger boys played some. Then they went to the playground where Shane was. Rah and the older sister teamed up to play Omar (and lost. Rah was walking instead of running and acting disinterested but the game went on.).

The little guys all started running around the playground. Shane started to try and throw mulch while Jeremiah and Cameron swung. Then they all started running around and chasing each other with sticks. They were all smiling and laughing. I kept an eye out, because I didn't want an accidental whack to turn into a fight. I spoke up on a few close calls, "Shane, have fun, but you'd better not hit anyone!"

They looked like they had a blast.

I think I earned the kids trust earlier when Shane had found a fidget spinner. He picked it up and said, "Ha ha! It's mine! I found it!" Cameron claimed it and Shane hopped on his bike and rode away cackling.

Jeremiah was on the other side of the court and described it to me ("It's yellow."), so I made Shane fork it over.

So somehow I became base during the stick fight. The kids would tear around, hit each others sticks, dodge close calls, and then Jeremiah or Cameron would run over to where I was. I told Shane, "If I get hit with a stick because you swing it near me there will be trouble," and then no one swung anything near me.

My one complaint: The little guys ran around saying, "Shit! Shit! Shit!" as Shane tailed them. Their big sister would sometimes yell, "Quit cussing!" but it never really slowed. I'd prefer Shane didn't learn too many of those words too early, but he needs to learn how to react in all situation. Shane seems to understand that while I don't correct every kid I meet, I will correct him in a heartbeat (We had a talk when he came home from school yelling, "God!").



The stick fighting seemed to end as some wrestling began between Shane and Cameron. Shane ended up on top laughing. I made my way over.  I told Shane to "Let him up if you all are going to wrestle."

This turned out to be key.

One of the ways I get kids to accept my authority is I set guidelines. I don't yell, "No!" and set up a power struggle (Unless they're danger). Shane's the first one I say something to. He has no choice but to listen to me. Other kids normally follow suit.

The boys hopped up (Cameron tried to kick a little, but whiffed), laughed, and then tried to wrestle again. Cameron ended up on top of Shane this time.

Shane tried to kick when they stood up and I said, "No kicking! If you're going to wrestle, wrestle!"

At that point, I was in charge. I would have preferred a game I didn't need to referee, but it was already underway. Most boys need physical play. They also need guidance (especially with kids who I don't know the parents of!).

Shane and Cameron hopped up and went at it again, smiling and laughing. They tussled and got near the playground's border. "Go to the grass! I don't want anyone hitting the concrete." They obeyed.

The game continued in the grass. Hopefully, it was good wrestling practice for Shane. I called out a point whenever someone got knocked over. Jeremiah watched at first. When he jumped in, he knocked Shane and Cameron over while they struggled against each other. "Whoops! Jeremiah got both of you that time! 2 points!"

Lots of smiles, lots of laughs. I called it quits after a while. It's good to end on a positive note and everybody's happy.

I told Shane to "make sure you know your friends' names," as we left. "It shows you care."

Turns out they were both older than him (2nd and 3rd grade). From their size, I would have guessed they were 1st or younger.

We got energy out.

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