8 is Tougher than Expected!

When Shane was a baby, I figured 7-10 would be some sort of golden age of parenting. It's turning out to be a lot harder than expected.

Shane is a great kid. This is not meant to be a critique of him as much as it's meant to be a critique of the expectations I had about having an 8 year old would be like. Unmet expectations are dangerous....especially when the expectations are subconscious and/or never communicated. This is an attempt of sorts to name those expectations, hold myself accountable, and keep my eyes open.

I assumed that Shane would be more independent and more help around the house this year. I assumed he would like things that were more interesting to me and that would make playing with him require less energy. I assumed he'd be more willing to play on his own, so that I would be able to play when I had energy and move off to rest or work as needed.

Those assumptions would be wrong.

Shane is more independent, but that takes time and effort to train. He can help more, but he has to be shown how (and then made to follow through!). He makes mistakes when he tries something new and that's part of learning. It takes patience and cleaning up after.

Shane has learned a lot and with that comes more questions. That includes questions about what to do and questions about why he has to. He's much better at making excuses than previously. He'll point out anything he disagrees with, but sometimes reacts like he's younger than he is with a pout or a collapse to the floor. His ability to listen has not always increased with his ability to debate (but he still does a good job of behaving overall - Listening in general when he's launching in a story is second nature to him).

With Shane's increased abilities, he's much more capable and requires more energy to keep engaged in positive activities/behaviors. When he was younger, I could get a way with a half-hearted joke, crawling around half speed, or doing something else while playing with him. That doesn't fly anymore.

This feels like an age of transition. Shane is transitioning to new activities, but sometimes still applying younger antics and tactics that no longer work. That can be frustrating for both of us. He's frustrated he can't run and jump in my lap and I'm frustrated that he's trying to after he did something I asked him not to.

Parenting is not for the faint of heart! I'd take three Shanes, but I'm doing my best to keep up with just one.