A Wild Night

Friday was a good day. Friday night, things got weird.

It started on the road home from NOVA. Shane and I were nearly home when a deer stepped into the road. 

It took me by surprise. 

I hit the brakes but left off as the deer stopped in the oncoming lane. I slipped past looking the buck in its eyes.

I started flashing my brights like crazy to warn any cars coming from ahead. About 10 seconds later I saw someone turn their hazards on in my rear view mirror as the road curved away. I don't know that they hit the deer, but I bet they did. 

And it was almost me.

I don't know for sure if I would have clobbered the deer if it didn't stop, but odds are high. My guess is I would have hit it around 20 or 30 mph.

So when a man knocked on our door around 7 PM saying they'd hit a deer my heart went right out to them. He was distraught and panicking. "I just wanted to tell you that I pulled into your driveway to get off the road, so you wouldn't call the cops on me."

He was off. I figured it was mental health or the fact that he'd just hit a deer around 50 mph and his "girl's" car was totaled "after it was just paid off." 

Carrie thought differently. She had a bad feeling. The guy reminded her of people from her time working with people coming out of jail, substance abusers, and batterers. She thought the guy wasn't hurt, the non-emergency line could be called to help process things, and I needed to stay inside because she felt unsafe.

I went outside. I wanted to see if there was anything I could do to help even if it was just listen to the guy's sob story. I wanted Carrie and Shane to stay inside. As the guy sobbed and I commiserated with him, I took a quick picture of the busted up front and license plate. I texted it to Bill with a "Some guy hit a deer in front of our house" just in case. I didn't get a picture of the guy (was trying to be on the sly).

The car radiator was destroyed. The guy said he was 10 miles from home, but I didn't think he could go more than a couple of miles. I kinda wanted him to drive two miles down to road into town where it was well lit and he'd have big parking lots to wait for help in, but I figured it was his choice. 

The guy was an emotional wreck. I heard about he had Black Friday deals in the trunk for the kids he'd have to take back and all sorts of things. He called for help and I heard him sobbing/panicked on the phone to his girlfriend/wife. 

At one point he asked me not to call the police (uh oh). He said he was on a restricted license, because of a bad motorcycle crash. It was his girl's car, bad stuff, etc, uh oh.

Carrie called while I was out there to let me know she'd call the non emergency line to tell them a guy had knocked on our door after crashing into a deer on the road. She was scared and wanted me to come inside, but I still wanted to stay outside and help even if just emotionally. 

I didn't mention the police were on their way, though. Enough had happened that I felt unsure about the whole situation. I didn't think the police showing up would necessarily be bad. After all, a deer jumping in front of your car wasn't a crime! And couldn't someone chose not to file a report if they weren't going to claim insurance?

The bible says "...be shrewd as the snakes, and innocent as the doves" (Matthew 10:16). I had the dove part down, but in hindsight I wasn't shrewd. 

The quick version is this: A car pulled up with a woman and her mom to pick the guy up and figure out what to do next. He wanted to know how long he could leave the car in the driveway and I said I'd ask my wife what she thought. As I walked to the house, the police pulled up. When I walked back outside to check on how things were going, an officer greeted me as I walked up. He said there'd been three crashes involved deer in the past hour and asked me what was up. I said the guy had knocked on our door saying he'd hit a deer.

That wasn't what the people told the police. They'd said the girl had been driving.

Oh, shit.

I had a terrible sinking feeling that things were about to spiral and my presence was only going to make things worse.

So I went back inside. 

Carrie was still scared and furious. She knew I had wanted to help, but she didn't think going out and getting involved in a bad situation was necessarily helping and it dragged the family into it. "What if they're crazy or have a grudge?"

An officer knocked on the door to ask for my statement. He asked if the guy had told me he'd been driving and I said yes. He told me that they'd said something different and they guy was under the influence and he could arrest him right now if he'd been driving. Then the officer asked if the guy had been alone.

I was feeling all sorts of horrible and conflicted. I was weak. Instead of saying "Yes," I said I was "99% sure."

That doesn't seem like much, but I knew he was alone. Part of me didn't want someone to get arrested for hitting a deer, but Carrie pointed out it "wasn't my role to judge." I didn't think I was and didn't want to judge. Yes, I know that the choice to drive on a restricted license, etc, are all choices the guy made. However, I'd felt like God had protected me from my own close call with a deer only a couple hours prior. That helped spur me to go out and 'help' in the first place.

The officer asked if the girl had been there and I was still struggling inside. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't going to lie (especially not to an officer), so I hesitated and said nothing. The officer moved on and I immediately felt guilty. He went back outside and Carrie let me know what she thought. "You weren't forthcoming."

And she was right. At that point, I was thinking she was right about the whole situation. What would have happened if I hadn't gone out? Maybe I prevented a false insurance report? 

I resolved if I was asked again I would answer fully. 

The police officer called again several minutes later. He asked what I'd heard and I repeated the guy had told me he was driving, couldn't swerve because a car was in the other lane, and hit the deer at ~50. He asked if our security cameras showed out as far as the road, but it was focused on our property. Plus, the headlights of the car had been pointed at the camera, so they were all that was clearly visible.

"Would you be willing to testify or would you prefer to remain out of this?" the officer asked.

I answered honestly. "I'd prefer to stay out of it, but if called to testify I'll do what I have to do."

It was an awkward night. Carrie was scared and mad that I'd gotten 'the family' involved. She stayed up watching the security cameras most of the night unable to sleep. I texted/called some family and friends for prayers.

Two weeks later, I have no idea how it ended. I know the second car away and the cops had a tow truck pick up the totaled car, but I don't know if an arrest was made. I don't know if I'll be called on to testify or not. Do the people hold a grudge? No idea. How much of what the guy told me was true? Did he even have kids? How much of what the cop said was true? Or what if I never went outside? Would the guy's people have come, helped call a tow, and everyone would be gone? Did Carrie only call the non-emergency line, because I was out there?

I just don't know and I don't like not knowing.

I'm not sure what God intended with the whole situation. The guy could've been sent to jail. That could be terrible, or maybe it could turn his life around for the better. Or maybe the officers let them off with a scare. That could be the impetus for the guy to change his life. Or maybe the girl would break up with him and that'd help her? Or maybe they hardened their hearts and ignored the warning completely? Could the deer popping out have prevented him from hitting another car further down the road? 

All questions I don't think I'll ever know the answer to. God has a plan, but that doesn't mean I'm privy to it. 

I'd like to think I did what God wanted me to, but I still feel uneasy. The whole situation made me fell small, stupid, and helpless to however it would unfold. I knew it wasn't my fault the guy hit the deer, had a restricted license, or had lied to the cops, but I felt guilty by association and my "99% comment. If I'd known the people would lie to the police I would not have wanted to go outside at all.  

Carrie and I processed and had a conversation the next day. Shane asked me questions, too. At one point, I said, "I hope I did the right thing, but I honestly don't know what to think right now."

I held off on writing this to see if I'd get a phone call or something in the mail, but I have no new clarity. I've thought about it off an on some, but for the most part I put it all behind me to keep moving forward. Writing this makes me think about everything again and how much I don't know. It's not a fun feeling. 

If I never hear anything again, I'll assume the matter is settled. If I get some sort of summons to testify in the future I'll post something then.