Which Year is the Roughest?

Which year has been the hardest of my teaching career? 

Often, the answer is "Whichever one I'm in now!"

This year, that's still true. I try to pour whatever I have into teaching to have no regrets...but this year is *special.* This year may be the hardest of my career!

I started off my teaching career at an Alternative Learning Center. It was eye opening. I dealt with a lot of trauma and learned a lot of gang signs. It was a unique start to my career. I left the ALC in the midst of it moving to an new location and all sorts of personnel drama. My boss ran off our counselor midyear and, if what I heard was true, she ended up being forced into retirement herself after the new security guard sued about something else down the line.

From there I shifted to teaching at a 'normal' middle school. The first year was an adjustment year, but not bad at all in the scale of things. I remember having some time in the day to randomly browse the internet to decompress between classes. I was single and living in a one room apartment and had enough spare time to do BJJ and woo Carrie who was two hours away.

But then there was the year that the school cut a SPED position. I ended up with extra preps, no support, and Carrie was having a "fun" time with the final trimester of her pregnancy. Shane was born and the paternity leave was rewarding, but not restful. Carrie was dealing with post-partum issues and I was staying up all night watching Shane sleep so that she could feel safe enough to rest herself. When I got back to school, I found out the sub had been nice, but supremely unqualified. 

The next school year, I was put on an improvement plan. The extra scrutiny and oversight was a burden, but it also pushed me to prove myself. I feel I became a better teacher for it (and fully vindicated to the head principal, Auggie. Especially when the same sub came in for another teacher's maternity leave and all her scores dropped precipitously.)

I was looking at switching into a tech position when I was short-staffed. The SPED population had changed enough they were cutting a position and it was me. With 6 years at RCMS, I was by 1 day the most junior Cat A SPED teacher. I was guaranteed a position somewhere in the county and ended up at a high school that I liked. However, Carrie was supremely unhappy in her career. As winter approached, Carrie got hired for a job in Charlottesville. We put our house up for sale in Spring and I spent the last part of the school year sleeping on a recliner at Jama's retirement home while commuting to and from Cville on the weekends.

My four years in Cville were spent at LMA. It was a small school, but filled with the highest need students. The hours were shorter and some days could be almost boring if attendance was bad. But I have plenty of stories from the high energy days. Being around all of the students' trauma took an emotional toll, but there was enough time for me to coach wrestling through the winter. I lasted four years. Halfway through my final year I wasn't sure how I would make it to the end, but come June I was wondering if I'd made a terrible mistake moving on. I remember holding back tears on the final day.

That brought me to my current position. I'm no longer a SPED teacher. I was hired for a math position. 2018-19 was an adjustment year. The kids were easier to manage, but there were much more of them and much more planning and paperwork. It drained my time and energy more than my emotions (which was the opposite of LMA!). Outside of school, we'd moved into our new house, started the barn, and Carrie was going through a tumultuous time. Shane felt at times like he was having some trouble integrating to his new school.

And then COVID hit. 

The end of the year finished with a whisper. Aside from the widespread panic and germ-paranoia it was the easiest end to a year I've ever had.

The pandemic continued and virtual school might have been the easiest year I've ever taught. It was draining in a unique way where the energy poured into it didn't have the same emotional payout, but it could've been much different. God paired me up with Marcell and we hit it off. That translated into us getting more connection out of the kids than most teachers. What could have been a season of feeling isolated and disconnected turned into a success for what it was. I worked non-stop on the barn and around the house which helped Carrie through the pandemic. Shane got to spend precious time with my parents, too, so there were obvious blessings amidst the challenges. A little over halfway through, students came back and school resumed in person to finish the year, but kids came in 2 shifts, so numbers were small and discipline issues were near nonexistent.

And now this year. We're back in school and it feels a little like the lawless, wild, wild, west. The year started with a full school and a list of COVID precautions to follow. Cases and quarantines mounted in the early weeks and much was uncertain. When those petered off and the school changed the quarantine procedures, it felt like students got comfortable. Really comfortable. Kids are happy to be late to class and wander halls for half an hour....if they come to school. Truancy is a huge issue and then with the kids who have been present there have been fights, false fire alarms, and a general sense of insubordination. 

There's a large section of students who feel grateful to be back in school, so it's not all bad. But the contingent of troublemakers are large and loud enough to derail things. Most of my classes are good, but there's one in particular that finds ways to remind me of my students at LMA, but without the support structures and confidence in the team around me. There was an 'epidemic' of students stealing at the beginning of the year due to 'devious challenges' on TikTok (a social media platform). Students ripped soap dispensers off the walls in bathrooms, damaged property, and stole from classrooms all while filming themselves doing it. The principal eventually sent out a notice to families asking them to address the devious challenges with their students.

On top of it all, the school system changed our grading policy. I have no problem with standards-based grades, but I hate that ACPS got rid of 0's. They quoted all sorts of research that 0's are bad for grades and disproportionately pull down grades and I get it. I don't like giving 0's, but I, also, believe the quickest way to lose a job is to do nothing. It's the same with grades. Choosing to not do anything at all should hurt a grade. While doing something should always have some sort of reward to it. I would give a 50% on papers where students turned it in blank save their name, because it was at least training them to turn something in. My goal is to make students believe their efforts are worth something and then make sure it comes true!

Only now participation grades aren't allowed. When I give out practice work and a student says, "So what's this worth?" I say, "It's practice." "So how many points?" they ask. "None," I say which then comes the predictable follow-up, "So I don't have to do it?" or "So it won't effect my grade." When I say, "You do have to do it," or "It does affect your grade, because I pull quiz questions from it," there's a large group of students who choose to opt out. 

And then I'm required to give them a 50%. Over 7 years prior, there was a "ZAP - Zeroes Aren't Permitted" policy at RCMS. The difference was, at RCMS students could still be given a 0. They were then required to do something about it that could include detention to give them "the gift of time" to work on it. The new ACPS policy is to hand students a 50% on anything they'd score lower on that on. 

Which means they get something for doing nothing. If there was anything I could change, that would be it. 

The kids who want A and B's aren't affected, but it's a scourge for the borderline kids. Why try to do something when you already got credit for it? Sure, you might score higher, but if you don't nothing has changed. I have students who have turned in a couple assignments out of every 10 and are passing with a D. They sit in class on their phone and don't see a need to do anything, because they're "passing."

I'm seriously debating writing an essay to the Superintendent. 

The lowered academic bar, the overwhelmed administration, and the students addicted to their cellphones and seemingly unsure of how to school anymore has made for a rougher year than I'd have expected at this point. One teacher said, "It feels like we're in a consequence free zone," and I have to agree. I'm struggling with what to do with my one special class. 

I guess you could say the last three years seem kinda like one of the college parties you see in movies that I never went to. The party starts off with everything new and exciting (2018-19). One thing leads to another and something happens (COVID). Then it all becomes a blur (2020-2021). Everyone wakes up the next morning hungover and hurting to discover and deal with the consequences (2021-2022). And that's how I feel roughly a third through the recovery. Here's to hoping there's a typical movie happy ending where everything works out at the end! I'd like to believe that we'll get back on track this year and school life will return to closer to what it was like pre-pandemic.

So....this is my 16th year teaching and it may be the hardest of my career. Or maybe not. I'll have to look back when I'm retired one day and read through my processing here to reach a verdict.