Tuesday, we went to the pool again!
Shane tried out the obstacle course. He was in love. Our first visit, there had been a long line. Not so this time. The only other boy braving the course was a five-year old friend from wrestling, too!
However, this course led to our drama for the day. Shane is tall enough to stand on his tip toes and just keep his head above the water (it's 3' 6"). There's not a lot of room to spare, but it's safe enough if he stays tall and doesn't panic.
Guess what! He panicked.
The first fall was telegraphed well in advance. My legs were in the pool, the camera went down and his head went under once as all his swim lessons went out the window.
From that point on, Shane did not want to be in the 'deeper' water. Nevermind that he bounced through the lazy river happily our first visit (also 3'6"...though he mainly stuck to the walls).
However, Shane was still in love with the obstacles. There were only two ways to get back to the start of it: Walk around more than half the pool (the long way or past the deep end) or jump/swim/wade a small gap (see orange arrow below).
Shane was terrified of the gap. I let Shane run around past the deep end the first time, but then decided against it. The gap was convenient and safer than water over Shane's head.
The gap was maybe twice as long as in my picture. The boy jumping in is Shane's friend and almost the exact same size as him. Shane could have almost jumped across the gap and hit the other wall (if the life guards let him get a running start).
Shane refused. He cried. "It's too deep! Help me, Daddy!"
The drama had begun.
Shane's been going through a weird wimpy/fearful stage. It can be frustrating. I wanted to be loving, but I didn't want to coddle the boy, either. "Shane, you're taller than the water here. It's the same as by the ropes. Here, let's try it out."
Shane protested. He clung to me like I was trying to drown him. I reminded him of his swim lessons and tried to talk him up to no avail. I helped him across the first time (or two?) to let him see it wasn't so bad and get him hooked on the ropes. Then, I refused to hep him after that. "If you want to get across, you have to do it."
The drama went up a notch.
Shane pleaded and cried, but I wouldn't budge. "Shane, you can touch the bottom. Just try it. I'm right here and I won't let you get hurt. Do you trust me?"
"No! Please help, PLEASE!"
Repeat ad nauseam. No matter how calm or reassuring I tried to be, we got nowhere. Shane's friend, Ryan, tried to tell him how to tread water, too.
Eventually, I said, "Shane, if you're not safe here, you're not safe on the ropes. The water is the same" I pointed to the numbers on both sides. "Either give it a try or play where the water isn't so deep."
We were in a rut. Shane refused to even attempt the gap. Yet, he refused to go anywhere else in the pool either. He wanted to run around the entire pool to get back to the start, but I wouldn't budge on that.
I stayed cool on the outside, but I gave an ultimatum. "Shane, you need to choose: Try the deeper water or go play in the shallows. If you don't pick, we'll go home."
After three or four chances, I said that was it. "You made your choice. We're going home."
Shane bawled. He wailed and gave a tantrum like I haven't seen since he was younger. I carried him out of the pool. It made me feel like a horrible parent, but I didn't think I was being overly unreasonable either. It's not fun, but you have to follow through when there's a hard line drawn in the sand. That's parenting 101.
I didn't say a word as Shane dried off and then wept the whole way to the car and beyond. It was a show. I tried to wait it out, because I wanted to let Shane practice recovering himself. My patience is not limitless, though. Right before we left the parking lot I turned around and commanded, "Stop. Crying."
The ride home was quieter. I didn't point out any snivels.
Shane didn't recover his normal disposition until long after we got home. He didn't take the bait when I tried to distract or engage him in anything else for a while.
Then, it was like nothing happened. He ran around and asked, "Can we go back to the pool again?"
"Of course! Maybe tomorrow!"
And we did go the next day. I wanted a chance at Daddy redemption as much as I wanted to give Shane a chance to play and maybe practice some of his swimming. I don't want him to be afraid of the water.
Only the pool was closed. Apparently, it closes every Wednesday!
We dropped by a spray park on the way home instead.
Shane was the only kid at first, but others came.
An hour later, when my skin was at it's limit, a bunch more kids showed up!
Next week. It's not like it's not hot enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment