John's still giving everyone the silent treatment. The last time I wrote about him was in October 2022. However, you may have noticed his name pop up on a few of the lists I've been doing. Also, this post popped up when I searched for him on the blog.
John is still very much not forgotten. I still text him a couple of times a month. Every time there's no response. I keep waiting for the day I get a text back saying "Who's this? John? Who's John?" or some sort of notification that I'm blocked.
But I keep hoping and praying, praying and hoping. I'll keep texting until it's clear the number is no longer John's.
Every now and then I'll bring John up with Shane, too. It's not that I want to depress the kid, but I think it's important to be transparent. My life is not perfect. There are things I am praying and hoping for fervently. The resolution I want doesn't always come quickly or even come at all. I have hurts and hang ups, but they don't control my life. I want to handle both of those well and be a model for him, because he's going to have his hurts and hang-ups, too.
Not to completely hijack a post about John, but growing up I looked at Pop as "Mr. Perfect." He was super good at school, super organized, worked super hard non-stop for his job, worked non-stop on the house, and knew something about everything. I figured he made more money than I ever would or could and that I'd never measure up to that standard.
My response was to not even try.
Which was both healthy and unhealthy, ironically.
The only person you can ever be is yourself. There's a lot of Pop in me, but I'm Mike. I wasn't the student I could have been for many reasons. Feeling I couldn't measure up to Pop's standard and giving up early was only one note in the mix. But I feel like God used my faltering as a student to make me a better teacher now. I can relate with the students who don't like school even as I realize how valuable it really is now. Nana and Pop had standards, so while I never challenged myself to be the best student I was capable of I never truly failed.
And the truth is, my teenage perceptions and insecurities weren't fully accurate (as is always the case). Pop was shy in high school. He got more motivated and driven as he got older, and, go figure, so did I. I definitely won't ever make as much money as he does (Not in my line of work!), but I feel like I'm where God meant me to be and that's a good feeling. It gives me purpose to push through even when there are hurts and hang ups like stress at work or one of my best friends ghosting me.
I did it again. I turned what was meant to be a short post into something much longer.
Happy birthday, John. Don't be a stranger and respond to a text at some point! I'd love to bring Shane up to visit you.
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