Halloween 2022 (The Backlog!)

"It's going to be nasty," Carrie said. "No one will be out." 

Incorrect! Shane and I would be! The boy and I hit the streets of Scottsville for Halloween 2022.

We weren't the only ones, either!

The cold, wet conditions chased off many, but there were enough trick or treating was clearly not cancelled. Halloween only comes once year!

Only Shane dressed up this year. It was low effort. He has his Deku gear on underneath his coat, but we didn't die his hair or put on all the accoutrements.

This was the kind of year I aim to A) establish a can-do mindset when conditions aren't great, B) still have fun, and C) set expectation a little lower so that next year is fantastic!

I especially didn't want to miss Trick or Treating this year, because Shane is close to aging out. A lot of teenagers shift towards Halloween parties unless they have younger siblings to shepherd.

Shane has no younger siblings, so that won't apply to him. Theoretically, Shane could help shepherd Landie, or Lilly and Wyatt in the future. Maybe Shane could trick or treat with younger cousins, but that would require Halloween to be close enough to the teacher workdays I could drive him to SC. Halloween 2023 looks to be on a Tuesday (unlikely!), but Halloween 2024 is on a Thursday that might line up with teacher workdays.

I'll be sad when Shane does decide he's too old to trick or treat. I like wandering around and people watching for Halloween! His enthusiasm makes it all the more enjoyable.

My favorite trick-or-treat stop this year was Baine's. They gave adults a coupon for a free drink!

We stopped inside for Shane to play with his goodies before heading home.

I offered to drive Shane into town, but he felt satiated from the stroll around town. It wasn't the biggest haul, but we had enough candy to treat ourselves to teeth rotting goodness for a week, at least!

Final Normal Game Weekend (The Backlog!)

This weekend is the last normal game for Fall Soccer. 

We played Yellow. Shane was chatting it up across the field! The local league has been good for him. 

We went to the playground afterward.

Shane became a zombie, I think.

For someone who talks about how much he hates movies/books/games with zombies, he ends up being one an awful lot.

There was some sort of rule in the game where Shane would drag kids back to a tunnel.

I had my reservations about him dragging kids off, but he said he "asked permission" whatever that means! Anyone who got dragged in had to join his team to help capture more kids.

I spent a chunk of the time on the phone, so it's not like I was listening in to learn all the rules!

We didn't have much else going on for the day, so I wasn't in a hurry to get home. The combines were rolling around when we did arrive. 

Sunday was youth service day at church. Shane was a greeter. A row of kids stood out front clapping and cheering as people walked in or out. They certainly nailed a good spot for his personality!

 A pretty quiet weekend, but we did some things. Shane really wants people to come over or to call him to play Roblox. I don't want him calling the same line more than several times a day. There have to be hours spaced in between, too, because I don't want him to be a nuisance. If Carrie or I offer to watch something with him, he's all for it...until someone calls him back. Then he'll ditch us immediately. He doesn't sugarcoat or delay it at all!

Barn Maintenance (The Backlog!)

Carrie woke early to foxhunt. It was a teacher workday, so I went back to sleep!

She called and woke me up not long after. She'd hit a deer.

Thankfully, this was a best case of a bad scenario. Carrie saw the deer standing in the road long prior. She was hauling horses, so she couldn't break quickly. She had enough time to slow to ~20 mph as she approached. 

The deer was almost out of her lane and started to move across the road....before it doubled back. The truck's passenger side clipped its hind quarters.

Carrie was okay. So were the horses. The deer was possibly okay? The front of the truck was only a little scuffed up. The deer made it off the road and didn't get caught under a wheel. It might have avoided a breaking any bones, but getting whacked had to hurt. 

While Carrie was out galivanting across the countryside with her fellow horse, pomp, and circumstance nerds, I did barn chores. I timed chores to be outside for a delivery of stall shavings for the barn (One pallet! The delivery truck is leaving with 4 others to be delivered).

The big activity of the day (aside from a zoom meeting) was spreading gravel dust.

The guy was looking up, because he had to be mindful of the lean-to!

Carrie was worried about breathing in gravel dust, so she insisted on masks.

I was worried she'd overwork and hurt herself. 

We both should have been more worried about the rake!

The rake gave up the ghost early on. The contractor had a spare, so we were able to continue smoothing/spreading the load that way. 

The other side of the barn is much easier, because the Bobcat could drive down the length and level most of it for us.

The goal of all this was to build back up the elevation to channel runoff and keep the area around the barn dry.

I hooked up the chains and Carrie hopped in the gator to smooth things out to her satisfaction.

I ended up on horse babysitting duty. Lilly was either thirsty or annoyed her way into the lot was barred.

Carrie tearing around in a gator wasn't enough to deter her!

I ducked to the other side to scratch and placate Lilly the best I could.

Only Abby wanted to know what all the fuss was and joined us.

There was only a single line up, so I had to keep the mares distracted from doing anything daring.

With as flighty as Abby gets if I try to put a blanket on her in the lot, I'm surprised she didn't tear off squealing when the bobcat came their way! It's like the really believe the polywire lines are an impassable wall.

The moment the machinery was done, we raised the lines and let the ladies have their lot back.

Lilly went straight to drinking in a unique manner.

Abby sniffed the new ground...

...and went for a roll.

Shane stayed inside for nearly all of it. He's happy to hide when there's physical labor going on! I remember doing the same thing as a kid, but I'd go outside to avoid Pop handing out cleaning assignments in the house (Once I got busted hanging out in the hammock reading while everyone else was working, ha!).

New gravel dust is hopefully a once a year occasion. As long as Ernie or someone else doesn't dig potholes, the equines should be able to stay dry under the lean-tos for the near future.

John (The Backlog!)

Travis' death was a surprise.

John's decline has been gradual.

At this point, John does not respond to texts or phone calls. I've been worried about his mental health since before the pandemic. He's stated that he wants everyone to just forget about him, because he's changed and it's better that way. 

My response has been to reply he's worth remembering and to keep reaching out. I try to text 2 or 3 times a month. I don't want to do it too often, because I'm concerned he'd block my number. '

I took some screenshots of texts and dates, but I won't post them here. John's always been a private person. He avoided social media entirely, so I know he wouldn't want me to post them even though he's ghosted me.

If we lived closer, I would drop in on him like I used to when we were younger. That was easy to do when he was ~ 6 minutes away (2.2 miles). If I whiffed, I went home, to Huntsman square, or continued down the road to somewhere. Now that the drive is over 2 hours one way and I have a family, I can't do that.

Or should I? It's something I've second-guessed myself on from time to time.

The last time I saw John in person was over a year ago. I had to ambush him. I called the library he worked at, asked for information, and when I heard his voice come on the line I knew he was there. Shane and I were at the Jeffers, so we hoped in the car and drove over. John hung out behind the desk at first, but he came out to say hi eventually. His answers were clipped, slightly edgy, and he radiated "Let's wrap this up, because I don't want to do this." 

The last time I heard John's voice, was when I was driving to SC to pick Shane up over the summer. I called while driving. He picked up and said, "Hello?" I started to speak and he hung up. Maybe it was a new phone or reflex, because he stopped picking up for my calls before I ambushed him in person to say hi.

John is a brother from another mother to me. Shane has considered him an uncle for most of his life. I keep him in my prayers and hope for a breakthrough, but it hasn't happened yet. I wonder if I should do more. I feel a little guilty when I got longer between texts (say once in a month), but I'm not sure what else to do. Calling John's parents historically causes a s*** storm in his life and makes everything way worse. That's been consistent from the time I met him in middle school.

So prayers for John are always appreciated. I think he needs them. 

The Thundermans and other kiddie shows (The Backlog!)

One of the biggest disagreements Carrie and I have is how to use the TV with Shane. 

Specifically, kid sitcoms.

Carrie wants to avoid all of them. I find it ironic, because she used to have them on all the time when we had cable! Carrie would tune in to Disney for Phineas and Ferb. Other stuff would come on afterwards like Pair of Kings, Suite Life on Deck, Kicking It, etc. 

Admittedly, Carrie wasn't always fully awake at that point. She likes to fall asleep to TV. Her preferred shows to sleep to are things with a happier tone that she's already seen or aren't too riveting.

Kid sitcoms fit that bill to a T!

We don't have cable anymore, so those types of shows don't come on unless someone clicks them.

Shane discovered a show called The Thundermans. I encouraged Shane to watch it. Carrie said, "Ick!" and discouraged it. 

Shane watched a total of 7 episodes over a few days before moving on. He does the hyper, over-stimulated flailing I did as a kid whenever embarrassment humor hits the screen! That's all my genetics! Carrie doesn't like it because Shane terrifies the pets flopping around on the furniture, but I think it's endearing.

When I was combing through my phone looking for blog post ideas, I found a video that was pitch black. There was one night, I had a vague idea to write this post. I turned on the camera and recorded my thoughts.

It was only a minute and a half video, but it took me a lot longer to listen and transcribe! I used way too many "ands" and "you knows," so I tried to clean it up. It went something like this: 

"Shane's watching more teeny-bopper shoes, and if you think they are easy to predict, simple, and way over-acted...YOU ARE RIGHT!

And I think they're great.

I remember when Carrie was pregnant she'd fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes it'd be to Disney and there'd be something on the TV like Pair of Kings or Kicking It or any of those kid sitcoms.

And sometimes I'd watch them. It was fine. It was ok. I normally like shows that have an edge to them. I remember the first time I saw blood in a cartoon, and was like 'Whoa! That's different!'

You know what? Not everything has to have a dark tone to be good. Sometimes something simple, light-hearted, and fun is perfect. Yeah, it's predictable, but that's okay. It's comfortable. 

Some kids have trouble reading emotions at all, and some kids, like Shane, don't get subtlety, but they see it in these characters. It's overacted, so they pick up on it. Hopefully, over time they graduate to more nuanced things. But it's developmentally appropriate. 

If Shane's watching it, I'll wander over for 5 or 10 minutes, giggle/laugh, and then wander away. I don't have to be held by it and can walk away. 

Shane hasn't tried to watch another kid sitcom. Honestly, he prefers to avoid them! It could be because he prefers cartoons, knows Carrie's not a fan, or doesn't like the embarrassment humor (Which I totally get!). Still, I try to encourage him to try them from time to time. In some ways, they're not any more realistic than cartoons, but I do think they're a developmentally appropriate stepping stone. 

I remember coming away from many sitcoms thinking, "If only they knew how to communicate! If they just said..." And that's a life lesson! I try to be very clear in how I communicate to avoid all the sitcom situations I saw on the TV growing up!

Word Games (The Backlog!)

It started with Wordle. It was quick. It was limited. I like word games. It became a daily habit. I play on Hard Mode now (locks letters in after discovered - no tactical guessing). Somedays I get lucky.

Usually I do well (3 or 4 guesses). 

But every now and then hard mode pushes me to the limit. I've lost on an annoying -atch before "Is it Hatch, Watch, Catch, Batch, Match, Latch or Patch?"

J words are often annoying for me. It's one of the last letters I roll through!

At this point, I've tried lots of variants. Octordle is my favorite. I have usually start with a combo like "STALE - CHIRP - FUDGY." If I have enough info after two words I start guessing. If not, I use my 3rd word or a modified 3rd word based on what I'm seeing.

At this point, I've played enough there are words I can sniff out that I barely know the meanings of.

I had so much free fun, I felt I owed the site the money to upgrade to Gold. Now, I get an extra daily puzzle! These are my stats as of 12/28 at 8:52 AM.

My favorite mode to play is Rescue. It's also the hardest. You have 9 guesses to get 8 words after the computer makes a few bad picks to start you off. I dropped below a 70% win rate after a string of bad 50/50 guesses (Grrrr...), but I've brought myself back up to that milestone. 

I did the Sexaginta-quattuordle once (64 words) on a challenge from a student. I don't planning on doing it again.

Best analogy: I like the occasional hike. One or two hours at most. I have no desire to go on a multiple day hiking trip. Octordle hits the sweet spot for complexity and payoff as I deduce words. Variants of more than 8 words stay around too long and I'm ready to move on!

I tend to play fast, but after 1,000 games the minutes here and there add up.

Bone Comics (The Backlog!)

Shane and I have made more trips to the library lately. Shane likes to read Garfield comics each night before bed. He, also, likes to read them out loud one after another at breakfast and whenever he can get a captive audience.

While I'd like him to read an actual book, Shane normally plops down in the comics section.

It's reading. 

He's enjoying being in a library, though, so I'll take it.

Often, what should be a short trip turns into an hour. I look around, and then normally sit down with a book or a graphic novel because they're quick. I try to stay off my phone, so Shane will 'catch' me reading when he does wander over (and he'll usually try to jump scare me). 

I'd heard about Bone while working in a library. I had a friend, Kevin, who was into comics and recommended it, too.

I was reading one and Shane asked, "What's that?" I checked it out and we went through the whole series! 

Shane "finished" reading a book or two before me. I gave Shane priority with the books. He fell asleep more than once with a book by his bed that I went and nabbed to read while he snored. I highly suspect he skimmed. A lot.

But it was still fun. We both read the same books! Too bad there's not an animated version or we could've coaxed Carrie into the universe, too!

Soccer + Corn Maze + Dump = Epic Saturday (The Backlog!)

Shane wore his bandana again to tap his inner samurai/ninja/warrior spirit. He happily ditched me to talk to Jet and a player for the other team.

Gabe was out of town, so Coach drafted a younger kid to fill out the roster.

Shane's been the full time goalie from the 2nd game on this season (and he's happy about it!).

We were up against Teal. They're the only team to beat us and currently undefeated in the league. While, they don't have a player equal to Gabe, they have 4 different kids who are athletic, competitive, and skilled (Mario, Mia, Raiden and Micah? Not 100% on names).

Shane played well, but he couldn't keep them all out. Without Gabe to press the offensive, Teal spent a lot of time on our side of the field.

Jet seemed to relish his role as the designated goal kicker. His dad would joke on the sideline that Jet might be in the NFL one day....as a kicker! 

I like this sequence coming off of a Teal corner kick.

The "Yes Sir's!" successfully cleared it that time!

Shane stopped one goal shot by diving on a ball.

It was hard to tell from the video, but he said he got his hand stomped on. 

He laid the for a long while as the other players took a knee. The Coach came out to collect him. I'm always tempted to go out myself, but I hold off unless it's something major (and thank God, that hasn't happened!).  

I can't remember if the game was already over on time or if he went back out. I do know it ended up being fine. We lost, but not by a lot and we didn't have our best striker. We'll get one more chance to take them on in the end of season tournament.

After soccer, there were still important things to do around the farm like taking out the trash.

I declared a dump day. Carrie said she didn't feel well, so she'd drive, but she wasn't loading or unloading. 

I got to work.

So.....uh....remember when I said I was currently obsessed with Chobani flips?

In my defense, I've only eaten 1 of the Cookies and Cream ones (Shane claims those). Carrie helped off and on, too...

But, yeah. It was mostly me.

I burned off any Chobani calories lingering in my system by doing most of the trailer loading.

I made Shane deal with some of the recycling. It would've been nice if he found a pair of scissors and accidentally got a haircut, but no success.

Shane helped me unload the recycling when we got to the dump, as always. I handled the trash on my own.

And if that wasn't enough, I drove about an hour to take Shane to Liberty Mills Corn Maze. The Youth Group was running through a maze in the dark!

We listened some to our audiobook, but Shane mostly played on his Switch for the ride up (Super Smash Bros, maybe?). 

A few older boys said something like, "Oh no, it's Shane!" He immediately started shining the flashlight in their eyes, so they may have had a point.

I want to do a corn maze in the dark. Today, was not the day. If the goal is to build Shane's independence, he's got to do things without me (even the fun ones I want to do!).

I kept a window down in the car to listen for people to get back. It was a good thing, too, because they walked by the cars without stopping! I heard some patented Shane noises. I hopped out of the car and caught up to the group just outside the store.

Andrew said that in the beginning, some older kids jump scared the group. Shane screamed! He hid behind Andrew before sheepishly coming out. Apparently, he was a help with the map.

It was a long, dark drive home, but it was worth it for a good memory. I hope Shane remembers conquering a corn maze in the dark!